A 30 year old man from Bingley has discovered the fabled tupperware container holding the solution to a chess problem formulated by eccentric composer and mystic Arnold Gembuccio.
The problem, known as ‘La Challenge (to be rhymed with melange’) was passed on to chess experts based in Hamburg and Yerevan who concluded that it possesses an ingenious solution leading to mate in as little as 748 moves. It had previously been declared ‘unsolvable.’
As needless as it may be to cajolingly remind the reader, Gembuccio first mentions ‘La Challenge’ in Volume VI, page 312 of his philosophical extravaganza the Compendium Metaphysica. ‘There is an extant riddle, calculated to beguile the perfumed intellects of the chessthetes, as the Satyr was beguiled by the cooling and warming properties of exhalation exhibited famously by man in Aesop’s Fable, conceal’d within a modest lunchenbox somewhere in the Yorkshire townlet of Bingley. This shall serve as another confirmation of the flux. Beef in Black bean sauce.’
‘This is an extremely significant finding’ noted Gembuccio scholar Peter Qomp. ‘The solution requires a creative re-interpretation of the stringent and despotically over-legislated rules of chess to which we are traditionally accustomed. The bishop, when imbued with the modest properties of a knight, becomes Juggernaught, and renders the problems choicer difficulties soluble.’ Qomp effusively continued: ‘This is a real ‘Et incarnatus est’ moment. Here is the face of Gembuccio. I confess the reports of its solution induced in me all the weaknesses of lachrymation.’
The man from Bingley wished to remain nameless and was awarded £24 by the Gembuccio Society for finding the box.
A new edition of Gembuccio’s ‘Guide to the Lake District’ is soon to be reviewed here, along with rumoured reports of the Gembuccio Society chairman Roderick Oddwing filing for bankruptcy.